Don't Let it be Just Once
by Celestial Seraphim
Summary: Misery loves company as the old adage states and no two people were more miserable than them. So was it fate that brought Kagome and Sesshomaru together with shared pain or mere whim of the great youkai? Complete Summary Inside!
1. Preface

**Title:** Don't Let It Be Just Once More

**Author:** Celestial Seraphim

**Warning:** violence, mature themes, angst, failed attempts at humor, OOCness, etc.

**Pairing:** SesshomaruxKagome

**Side Pairings:** SangoxMiroku, InuyashaxKikyo

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Inuyasha or any of the characters those go to their prospective owners but I'm currently in negotiations for a Sesshomaru plushie :

**Summary:** Misery loves company as the old adage states and no two people were more miserable than them. So was it fate that brought Kagome and Sesshomaru together is shared pain or mere whim of the great youkai? When she gets a peak at the Taiyoukai's face Kagome can't help the feelings that slowly begin to consume her even though at first she doesn't realize they're there but will it end in a happy ending?

**Author's Note:** So I previously had five chapters already written of this before my pc decided to crash and I lost all of my files. Therefore this is the rewrite of the original but I tried to take as much as I could remember from the original but since I felt like they were moving too fast in the first one this one will be slightly different. This takes place before/during/after the time when they are on their way to the holy mountain that Naraku is hiding in. I hope everyone enjoys this story and I should be posting regularly seeing as I got a good number of chapters done already.

**Don't let it be Just Once**

Preface

There was no love there, she knew that. Every single time she felt that heart breaking ache though, no matter what and without fail. They had fallen into a routine. A horrible and distant routine that tore at her heart. The whole group would either be fighting Naraku or one of his minions would appear to fight then then _she_ would appear or he would catch _her_ scent and he would go to her, usually without hesitation. At the end she would be left alone with the group and her sorrow. Sometimes on those days he went after _her_ she would wander while other times she would go back to the future where she tried to forget about the two of them.

It was on one of those days she was wandering listlessly, nursing her pain that the routine changed and they had met. When they bumped into each other that first time something happened, something began to change between them. No one but them would ever know the things they did after that fateful meeting. No one would know of the things they talked about either before or after their activities. No one but she would know that she wasn't the only broken person near Inuyasha. That while her heart was shattering and _he_ was doing all he could to keep her heart together because of a whim he had, _his_ own heart and spirit was already broken. His only use for her was to be near someone who was just as miserable as -if not more than- he.

They used each other but they did not imagine that from their use of each other something fragile and tentative would be born. However, Inuyasha's last most agonizing betrayal would set that something into motion.

_TBC…._


	2. Cold heart, warm hands

**Title:** Don't Let It Be Just Once More

**Author:** Celestial Seraphim

**Warning:** violence, mature themes, angst, failed attempts at humor, OOCness, etc.

**Pairing:** SesshomaruxKagome

**Side Pairings:** SangoxMiroku, InuyashaxKikyo

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Inuyasha or any of the characters those go to their prospective owners but I'm currently in negotiations for a Sesshomaru plushie :

**Summary:** Misery loves company as the old adage states and no two people were more miserable than them. So was it fate that brought Kagome and Sesshomaru together is shared pain or mere whim of the great youkai? When she gets a peak at the Taiyoukai's face Kagome can't help the feelings that slowly begin to consume her even though at first she doesn't realize they're there but will it end in a happy ending?

**Author's Note:**

**Don't let it be Just Once**

Chapter 1

It was another battle between them and Naraku but this time was different. It was more dangerous and more frantic, so much more. They were on the Mount. Hakurei with Naraku's miasma below them, swirling around ominously. The others: Sango, Miroku, and Shippo were near the base of the mountain trying to fight their way up. It was just Kagome, Kikyo and Naraku near the top as they fought each other. Inuyasha was near them, fighting his way towards them through the hordes of demons. As both Miko's tried to fight Naraku, Kikyo also fought against Kagome who refused to shoot arrows at the undead Miko. Kikro had resorted to alternating her attacked between shooting arrows at Naraku and Kagome. Both Miko's could see the hald-demon was finding it amusing to watch them just as Kikyo screamed at Kagome angrily, "What right do you have to my soul?! Just because you are my supposed reincarnation?! Just for this reason you may have the other have of my soul while I am left to feed upon the souls of others?!"

Kagome barely dodged an arrow that Kikyo sent her way as she let her own arrow loose on Naraku, knocking it off its course a little. It sliced through one of his tentacles as one of Kikyo's arrows went straight through his chest. He was barely able to save himself as he created a barrier around his mostly destroyed but regenerating body. Just before he disappeared he sent a wave of his demonic insects towards the two Miko's just as Inuyasha reached them. Kagome let out a little yelp as she and Kikyo were sent stumbling backwards in shock but they soon realized why he'd done what he did when they took another stumbling step back. Their feet let the ground as they took one step over the cliff and they began to fall but they grabbed onto the ledge at the last possible moment, just barely saving themselves.

Kikyo and Kagome both had begun to breathe hard as they tried to hold on just as Inuyasha looked over the ledge with wide panicked eyes. When he saw them the look of relief passed over his face and sent a warm feeling through Kagome. "Inuyasha! Help me!"

Kagome saw the confliction in his eyes after Kikyo's cry and he looked between the two women causing Kagome's heart to stop with trepidation. "Inuyasha…"

Her voice was soft as all she uttered was his name in a soft whisper and they locked eyes. She could see how lost he felt because of his eyes but just as she began to open her mouth both of their hands slipped from the edge. Without hesitating, his eyes switched to Kikyo and his hand whipped out to grab her wrist. At that moment Kagome felt her heart shatter at the betrayal, her eyes not leaving the ledge as she said softly, "Inuyasha…How could you?"

The soft words were ripped away by the wind as she fell so she could get no reply. The next thing she knew Kagome's eyes closed as she plummeted towards the miasma and rocks below. She heard voices screaming her name before the agony came then there was nothing at all.

**(One year earlier…) **

_**March 21**__**st**__**, 9:10 pm**_

Inuyasha had left her to go see Kikyo when he had caught her scent. It had been just the two of them and he had bolted towards the scent, leaving her alone. There was no Shippo, no Sango and no Miroku to keep her company. She wandered the wooden area listlessly as she nursed her hurt. She let the tears fall as the pain enveloped her body while she walked. She walked until she reached a small river and fell to her knees, sobbing her heart out. Suddenly, something had moved and when she looked up Kagome's eyes met cold gold ones. She knew those eyes in an instant and squeaked in surprise, her pain forgotten for a moment. Kagome quickly wiped away the tears that had fallen from her eyes as she got up from her kneeling position by the river and took in the Taiyoukai. At her surprised squeak a delicate eyebrow arched in a disinterested manner as he watched her closely but she could see the strain it put on him. She had never seen the Taiyoukai so hurt, there was so much blood everywhere but mostly where he rested against a tree. Kagome felt heat rise to her face as she met his glaring gaze and she looked down at her feet feeling embarrassed at being caught crying by Sesshomaru of all people.

Glancing up again she bit her lip for a moment before taking a step towards him but his low warning growl made her stop. She noticed his eyes tinged pink for a moment but she gathered all her courage and said, "You're hurt…"

"This one has no need of _your_ assistance, ningen." She would have flinched at his words if he hadn't looked half dead so she merely huffed in annoyance and took a closer step. A snarl began to push through his throat as she grew nearer until she scowled. "Hush! I am going to help you whether you like it or not. I refuse to leave you bleeding here."

His snarl got cut short at her sharp words but his glare didn't abate as she kneeled next to him and began to take everything she needed out of the bag she'd been carrying. She worked in silence for a time as he refused to look at her while low growls of displeasure escaped him. After a moment he spoke callously, "You are that _hanyo's_ _ningen_, are you not?"

The question brought a flash of anger before a lance of pain went through her and caused her to draw blood as she bit down on her lip harshly. No…_no_ she wasn't Inuyasha's human because all he saw was Kikyo. The thought brought a soft sob out as she shook her head at his question. "I am no one's human."

There was a bitter edge to her tone and she noticed that Sesshomaru seemed to study her all that much more closely. His eyes narrowed with a calculated gleam as he took in her trembling, fragile state. "Where is the fool Inuyasha?"

Kagome bit her lip a tad bit harder as her hands clenched, moving away from the Taiyoukai slightly as she stood. She wouldn't tell even though she was angry just in case the Taiyoukai tried to fight the hanyo. "You ningen are foolish. You do not have to say it, it is apparent from your emotions. He is with the Undead Miko."

Kagome closed her eyes and her knees buckled underneath her causing her to land on them in front of the Taiyoukai. The pain that assaulted her was numbing in its agony, the slow shattering of her heart was too much for her too bear. She was startled to feel a clawed hand take hold of her chin and steer her face to look into luminous gold eyes. He looked at her closely, his face expressionless before he asked, "Why stay with someone who refuses to see you?"

Kagome looked at him, stunned by the question that was laced with a slight undertone of curiosity. She looked into his cold eyes and saw something there that she couldn't quite read but found familiar. "I…"

She wanted to say 'I love him' but instead the words "I don't know" left her lips. Suddenly, without thinking she leaned into his touch and cried her heart out uncaringly. Vaguely, she was shocked when he didn't move away in disgust but neither did he try to comfort her. He merely let her cry as he turned his face away in distaste and when she finally stopped he quickly snatched his hand away, a low annoyed growl leaving his chest. She watched him and sensing her gaze he looked at her, locking gazes. They stayed looking at each other for a moment and suddenly she read the look deep within his eyes. _Misery_. He turned away from her and she realized she was being dismissed, deciding she pushed her luck enough she got up and began to move away. However, as she left alone for some odd reason she did not _feel_ so alone.

(OoO)

_**March 25**__**th**__**, 6:45pm**_

When Kagome returned to the feudal era she was surprised to see Inuyasha was nowhere in sight. Giving the area around her a nervous look she looked around carefully to catch any sight of the hanyo as she called out, "Inuyasha? Inuyasha! Where are you?!"

She frowned, a small scowl marring her usually bubbly features as she tried to think of where her traveling companion could be. When a familiar presence brushed against her senses Kagome looked to the side and saw the disappearing glow of soul stealer. A familiar ache settled in Kagome's chest and she bit her lip to keep the disappointment and hurt at bay. She took a few steps towards Edo before stopping, her head turning towards the opposite direction she saw the soul stealers in. She looked hesitantly as she remembered Sesshomaru's bloody figure. The sight had never really left her during her short time at home and now back in this era she was tempted to go see him.

"He's my patient…it's only natural I want to go see how he is."

A small part of her brought back the image of the miserable look in his eyes and that small part called her a liar. She was using him as a distraction and curiosity tickled her senses about the look she'd seen for a split second in his guarded eyes. Steeling herself and hefting her heavy yellow pack behind her, she began to walk in the direction she'd last seen Sesshomaru resting. When she got near the small stream she stumbled slightly when his youki flared threateningly and her own reiki answered back soothingly. When she entered the small clearing she was surprised to see the blood that had been covering before was gone now yet he appeared to not have moved. He didn't bother looking at her, instead kept his eyes closed as he rested against a tree. She studied him for a moment before taking a few steps forward, she held back a grin when he shot her a warning look. Predatory eyes watching her closely as she walked closer still and a low growl made his upper lip curl to reveal fang. "Leave this Sesshomaru has no need of you."

She huffed in annoyance and her stride became longer until she was kneeling near him again. "You are my patient. You were injured graveling not long ago. Excuse me for being worried."

She missed the slow blink of surprise when she turned to dig in her pack, after looking over his wound. The Taiyoukai let out a low growl of annoyance but said nothing further, a small part of him reminded of Rin when he'd first taken her under his protection. The thought made him look more closely at the Miko in front of him as she gathered some food before realizing why she was doing such. He sneered at her and opened his mouth to rudely decline but she cut him off.

"It is rude to decline food made for you in good will…"

He flashed fang at her as he debated whether it was worth being rude and tarnishing his image or just bare it. If he'd been a lesser being he would have huffed but instead he merely took the food offered, sniffed and then took a single bite. A small part of him admitted it was decent for ningen food before he noticed her faraway look. He could smell her sorrow radiating off her and internally rolled his eyes. "Are all you ningen females like this?"

Kagome blinked at his brisk question before narrowing her eyes, she didn't like his tone in the least bit. "Excuse me?!"

His eyes narrowed dangerously at her tone and his voice was deadly quiet as he answered back, "You will address this Sesshomaru with respect. Watch you tone, ningen."

She froze for a split second as everything in her screamed that this was a predator she should be _running_ from not holding a conversation with. She looked into his glowing gold eyes as the shadows fell over his face for a moment and then calmed her volatile emotions, she was lucking he had enough honor not to kill the person who'd assisted him. Even if it was against his will but he really could have just swatted her away, which made her wonder why hadn't he?

"Woman, my patience grows thin."

The young Miko bristled at his tone and said cuttingly, "It would help if his _lordship_ made it clearer what he meant by his question."

She watched as he seemed to contemplate punishing her for once again not showing him the respect he felt he deserved but must have decided not as he asked, "Do all ningen females feel the need to go out of their way to _assist_ others?"

He said the word 'assist' like it was a disgusting insect clinging to his clothing or a bad taste in his mouth. It made her lips twitch slightly but she curled her legs underneath her chin as she looked a little past him and spoke softly, "Some do…Some, like me, cannot stand by and watch another be hurt or die and do nothing. Others…more than I care to admit, prefer to turn a blind eye or be the reason for the pain. Then again isn't it like that for most creatures?"

She gave him a curious look and asked, "Are female youkai so different?"

Kagome noticed something flash through his gaze for a moment before he looked away and he said after a few moments, "Very few are willing to be that way…perhaps a handful at best. This one knows of only that many."

The young Miko watched him carefully for a moment wondering if she dared ask what made him look so…miserable. However, before she could he stood up and made his way past her. She watched him for a moment before she asked, "What made you ask, Sesshomaru-sama?"

He stilled and seemed to contemplate telling her before he said, "Rin…was also insistent upon helping this Sesshomaru when he was hurt after our first meeting."

She blinked before smiling warmly, she was aware after their few meetings how highly she thought of _her_ Lord Sesshomaru. Giggling softly she said, "She loves her Sesshomaru-sama very much."

The Taiyoukai scoffed lightly but knew it was true, the girl rarely left his side and when he left hers she was always waiting with a smile. Her childish behavior and innocence had made it possible for him to tolerate her presence then before he knew it he grew to care for his ward much as a father would. It was a bit disheartening but he learned to live with it. Just as he was about to continue on Kagome called out to him softly. He stopped once more and barely held back a sigh, glancing back over his shoulder.

Kagome knew that was as much of an acknowledgement as she was going to get from this proud Inu youkai. "Will I see you again?"

She watched something flicker in his gaze and then he seemed to consider her before he said, "Perhaps."

Without another look back and without letting her speak again he was gone, leaving Kagome with the feeling something had shifted with this second meeting.

_TBC…_


	3. Heal my heart I'm in your hands

**Title:** Don't Let It Be Just Once More

**Author:** Celestial Seraphim

**Warning:** violence, mature themes, angst, failed attempts at humor, OOCness, etc.

**Pairing:** SesshomaruxKagome

**Side Pairings:** SangoxMiroku, InuyashaxKikyo

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Inuyasha or any of the characters those go to their prospective owners but I'm currently in negotiations for a Sesshomaru plushie :3

**Summary:** Misery loves company as the old adage states and no two people were more miserable than them. So was it fate that brought Kagome and Sesshomaru together with shared pain or mere whim of the great youkai? When she gets a peak at the Taiyoukai's face Kagome can't help the feelings that slowly begin to consume her even though at first she doesn't realize they're there but will it end in a happy ending?

**Author's Note: **I've decided I'll only be updating this once every week or twice every two weeks just because my main focus will be on My other fics but I do already have quite a few chapters written for this already seeing as I'd had this pre-written before so no worries about the flow of updating. I'm so glad you guys seem to be liking it so far as well! Thank you for the reviews and fav/follows as well! Love you guys to bits!

**Don't let it be Just Once**

Chapter 2

_**April 3**__**rd**__**, 8:25am**_

Kagome watched as her friends spoke in hushed tones and Inuyasha sat quietly above her on a branch. Shippo lay curled up in her lap as she gently stroked his hair and tail, dozing lightly as they took a short break from walking most of the night. Unthinkingly, she flexed her reiki out and around them, letting it coat the area to determine whether there were enemies nearby or not. She only got glances from her friends and a soft murmur from Shippo, they all had begun to get used to her strengthening her reiki. Once more she let her reiki get familiar with everyone's auras and the two distinctive youki for her two traveling companions. Once their presences faded out a little signaling she'd grown accustomed to them she let her mind wander along her reiki's perimeter. She was about to pull it back when something lightly tugged at her power along one edge. Curiosity peaked at the decidedly harmless tug she allowed herself to focus on it. The first thing that struck her was how familiar it felt before she started when it zapped her power making her reiki shudder slightly. Immediately she realized it was youki that assaulted her powers but strangely enough it wasn't threatening, instead it was curious…searching. Tentatively she allowed her reiki to stretch out a little more in the direction the tug came from and nearly yelped when she finally recognized the youki. _Sesshomaru_ of all people was investigating her power, poking and prodding it like a dog near a rattlesnake. Huffing lightly, at his disregard for her holy powers she sent a sharp reprimanding shock the next time his youki came in contact with her power. She felt as his youki withdrew sharply before almost snake like it lashed out at her power.

She had to fight to keep the grin off her face at the taste of shock and wounded pride was behind the attack. Biting down at her lip as her lips turned up a little she allowed her reiki to wrap around his youki lightly in apology, knowing that it must have stung a bit. It shuddered lightly as though it was trying to brush her off but she merely draped her power over him more as though she herself was clinging to him. Kagome felt his power almost sag under her reiki and a part of her wondered at how they were able to communicate with their aura's only. He was the only one besides Kikyo she'd been able to do this with and then even with Kikyo there was limits to it. She was broken out of her interaction when she felt the air in front of her change and a voice growled gruffly, "Oi! It's time to go….What the hell are you grinning about?!"

Instantly her eyes snapped open and her reiki sharply pulled back around her body making her wince a little. She looked at Inuyasha in a daze for a moment before she scowled at him, brushing off her skirt as she stood up and cradled Shippo. "None of your business."

"Keh!" He moved past her and began to lead them from their resting spot but Kagome hesitated for a second, unthinkingly she faced the way she'd sensed Sesshomaru and after a moment of debate she sent a sliver of her reiki out again. It didn't take long for it to find him but he was farther away than he'd been before. He seemed to pause at the light nudge of her power and then she wrapped it around him in a farewell before pulling it back around her. If she didn't know better she would have thought she felt a small bit of his youki keeping hold of her reiki just a little longer.

_**April 4**__**th**__**, 12:00 am**_

Eyelids fluttered open to reveal a sapphire gaze as Kagome slowly woke when something disturbed the edge of her spread out reiki. It took a moment for her to realize what it was as her sleep fogged mind caught up with what her eyes were telling her brain. Inuyasha was gone and at the edge of her senses she could feel his youki. Hesitating, she slowly stood before heading in the direction it came from and something that made her nauseous began to curl in her stomach. As she tried to move through the woods as quietly as she could, her reiki so infused with everything around her that it would be hard to tell she was actually nearby. When she finally got to the area he was around, a presence brushed against her senses and then recoiled slightly and a soul stealer hovered nearby watching her. That was all she needed to know as to _why_ Inuyasha was out in the forest at this time. She hesitated once more before moving so she could see what was going on and what she saw nearly made her cry out in rage and hurt. Inuyasha held Kikyo close to his body, cradling her as though she was the most delicate and precious thing to him. She could feel her body trembling while the feeling curling in her stomach grew worse as Kikyo leaned in to him. They spoke in hushed whispers much like lovers would and something snapped within her. Kagome opened her mouth to scream, yell, _anything_ but nothing came out.

She was surprised to finally notice a hand around her mouth and an arm around her waist to pull her against a hard chest. She knew instantly who it was by the faint traces of youki that clung to the Taiyoukai. Before she could even make a noise they were gone from the edge of the clearing Inuyasha and Kikyo had been at. She could still feel her reiki around them so knew they weren't far from her camp but that was far from her mind at the moment. Without a thought an enraged scream ripped through her throat as she fell to her knees, fingers clawing at the ground and head thrown back. Her reiki coiled around her like a snake, vaguely she could feel it lashing out at the youki that was too similar to Inuyasha's yet more powerful. When Kagome's scream finally ended she felt numb, her eyes dull as she looked up at the dark sky and her reiki slowly calmed at it rested tiredly against her. Keeping it expanded and having a separate part of it wrapped around her was exhausting, so having it react to her emotions had left her feeling oddly empty.

"Are you done with your tantrum, miko?"

Unthinkingly she let her reiki lash out at him once more and his bore down on her tired power before he physically bore down on her. She did nothing as he pinned her to the ground a silent snarl curling his lips as he glared down at her. They stayed like that for a moment before he gave her a studious look, examining her empty but tired gaze and her sagging body.

"You are a fool."

Her gaze sharpened for a moment before softening slightly, closing her eyes to not look into his golden gaze. She was surprised enough to startle when she felt his youki wrap around her uncertainly. Questioning blue eyes gazed up at the Taiyoukai but his own gaze was closed off so she could read nothing in it. They watched each other for a moment before she pushed lightly at him as she spoke, her voice hoarse from her enraged scream. "I have to return…"

He frowned at her and for a moment she saw a flicker of something in his gaze before he said, "You will return there…"

It was stated but she could hear the question in it and still sore after that scene she nearly snarled out, "And what would you have me do?! I have a duty to the shards and my companions! My feelings matter little when I must complete the jewel! Why should my pain…Why should Inuyasha's…Why…"

She trailed off as her voice got quieter and she hurriedly tried to build up her smiling façade again. She hated this. Hated being seen like this and most of all by the Taiyoukai who would most likely tell her to suck it up or call her weak. "The fool has done it again…"

Blue eyes gazed up sharply at the Taiyoukai, not understanding what he meant. Unthinkingly she growled out as she let her anger fuel her, "Why do you care? You hate humans."

His lips curled in distaste as he looked upon her before he spoke again. "Humans themselves are of little bother to this Sesshomaru. This one merely hates those who are weak and get in this Sesshomaru's way."

She rolled over what he said in her mind and figured it was true or else he would not keep Rin by his side. A self-deprecating smile curled her lips as she said softly, "You must think I'm very weak then…"

He made a soft sound that she couldn't quite decipher before growling lowly, "Do not assume to know what this one thinks…"

She blinked slowly before watching him closely as he looked out into the woods. Feeling her eyes on him he slowly met her eyes and she once again saw the look in his eyes that reminded her of her own eyes. Kagome bit her lip before asking softly, "Why…?"

His face twisted into something unrecognizable before turning away from her. "You have…_acquired_ this honorable one's respect…you are much like someone this Sesshomaru once knew and in an identical position. You both remained…_strong_ in the foolish sense of the word."

Kagome frowned unsure whether she was just insulted or complimented but then she registered the pain he kept buried as he spoke of whoever this person was and she wondered if he loved them. They stood in silence for a moment before she said softly once more, "Thank you…"

"Hn"

She giggled at his gruff attitude before she let her reiki curl around his youki for a second in silent thanks then pull away. Stretching slightly she let out a soft satisfied groan before smiling brightly at the Taiyoukai, "You know…you're a lot more like a teddy bear than I thought."

She laughed at the flash of confusion that went through his gaze before darting back into the trees towards her camp. Surprised that the bitter anger and sadness had dulled to a manageable ache, never sensing the youki that trailed behind until she reached the camp. Curling up around her little kit she let a smile curl her lips as she fell asleep not noticing Inuyasha slide in to camp only a minute later and throw her a guilty look.

_**April 7**__**th**__**, 1:20 pm**_

Kagome blinked when Inuyasha suddenly stopped with a growl and drew Tessaiga. She frowned at him and asked worriedly, "What is it?"

Sango and Miroku tensed behind them, concerned about what was happening. Inuyasha glanced back at her and growled out in mild annoyance. "You can't sense him?"

The little miko blinked and thinking he was talking about Naraku, through her reiki out around them trying to catch anything of the hanyo. However, as she spread her senses out along her reiki nothing of came to her accept…_Sesshomaru_. She instantly relaxed and had to fight back a smile before she sensed his companions. She rolled her eyes at the hanyo and said,

"He has Rin-chan and Jaken with him. I doubt he'll fight you."

"Keh! That bastard'll-"

"This one will not tolerate such language in front of his ward." Inuyasha blinked before his ears flattened and he went to lunge for his brother while swinging Tessaiga. However, Kagome glared at his back and yelled hurriedly, "Sit boy!"

Immediately, he found himself in a crater on the ground, his body twitching. Rin giggled in amusement while Sesshomaru merely glanced at Kagome approvingly before Rin was rushing towards Kagome and Shippo.

"Shippo-kun! Kagome-sama! Rin has missed you!"

Before she could latch on to them Sesshomaru's voice cut in. "_Rin_."

She stopped just before them, a light blush coloring her cheeks and Shippo grinned down at her cheekily from Kagome's shoulder. She bowed to each person and said, "It is good to see you all again, Sango-san, Miroku-san, Inuyasha-sama. But especially Kagome-sama and Shippo-kun."

She grinned cutely and Kagome squealed unable to resist any longer she gathered the girl in her arms and hugged her close. "You're so cute, Rin-chan! We've missed you very much!"

Rin giggled as she snuggled in to Kagome's embrace, loving the attention she was getting. When Inuyasha began to get up from where he landed, growling about killing brats and annoying lords of the wests that got in the way. Kagome glared heatedly and merely said a little bit more firmly, "Oswari."

_**April 7**__**th**__**, 10:15pm**_

Kagome winced at the glares she was receiving from the hanyo across from her. He hadn't been very forgiving of her since she'd 'sit' him in front of his brother earlier that evening but really there was a child there. She'd been apologizing all night but he'd finally just resorted to the silent treatment and just throwing glares at her from time to time. Kagome sighed lightly, getting up and shaking her head as she collected the pots for washing. Giving a smile to her companions she said lightly,

"I'll be back. I'm just going to wash these in the river I saw close by."

"Keh!" Kagome glanced at Inuyasha and smiled slightly, knowing he was on his way to forgiving her if he reacted to something she said. Without another word she walked away, carrying her load to the stream not far and kneeling down beside it. She hummed softly as she worked, enjoying the peace it brought her to just be doing something so mundane. Her eyes shot up and her heart leapt up with hope when she heard the trees rustle behind her. However, when she whirled around instead of seeing long silver hair and a white and red robes. She got the fire rat robes and snow white hair as Inuyasha stepped through the bushes looking slightly guilty. She blinked at him before a slow smile curled her lips. She didn't say anything though, just turned back to her work and waited as he sat down cross legged near her.

"I'm sorry."

The little miko blinked before glancing at the hanyo and smiling knowingly as he refused to look at her. "Oh?"

He shot her an annoyed but still guilty look before he said, "I…acted like…a jerk."

Her lips twitched, he really was learning her speech a little too well. That word didn't even exist in this time yet. She leaned back on her feet and smiled at him warmly. "It's okay Inuyasha. I've already forgiven you. You sometimes let your head get carried away but…I know your heart is in the right place."

He let a small smile touch his features and she let a larger one curl her lips however before they could really enjoy it a soul stealer passed by them and his eyes followed it. A few of them circled the area before floating off and Kagome felt something in her curl and choke off. She looked away and began to scrub the dishes again, refusing to look at him.

"Go ahead Inuyasha."

Her voice was soft, a hint of nothing in it as she gave him permission. He got up but hesitated as he looked down at her uncertainly and this time her voice was harsh as she growled out, "I said GO."

His ears pinned to his head and he whined softly before racing away after the soul stealers. Tears fell from her eyes and she had no idea why when she'd _told_ him to go. So why the hell did it still hurt so much? A sudden flare of familiar youki had her stumbling to her feet and running blindly through the forest towards it as she called out.

"Sesshomaru! Sesshomaru! _Sesshomaru_!"

Suddenly she was in her arms and her body was shaking violently with the waves of her harsh sobbing. Sesshomaru looked down at the tiny human in his arms and found himself surprised with how painful and violent her sobs sounded. It was as though someone she knew had died, as though her heart had been ripped out and unthinkingly he curled her into him. The taiyoukai slowly sat at the bottom of a tree and held her in his lap as she cried her heart out violently. He wondered how such a small body could hold so much grief and yet still smile so completely when the light of day came. It mildly fascinated him.

When she finally calmed down she rested against him lethargically, exhausted from letting out so much emotion. She looked into the forest as she muttered softly, "I told him to go this time…"

Gold eyes glanced down at the young woman and he let out a huff of breath that she realized belatedly was a sigh. "We see the good that did you."

She was too tired emotionally to reply and warmth spread through her as his youki wrapped around her comfortingly. For some reason she remembered the day they first began this and looked up at him as she asked quietly,

"Sesshomaru-sama…why were you so…injured that day when you're so…well you."

She watched as golden orbs were hidden from the world for a moment before they opened again and Sesshomaru said softly, "The Lady of the West had died."

Kagome felt alarm run through her along with something bitter and she said softly, "Oh…Oh I'm sorry I had no idea that you were…"

She trailed off at the slight twitch of his lips and he corrected her gently, "This honorable ones mother was the Lady of the West."

At first she blinked incomprehensively before her hands flew up to her mouth and her eyes watered up. "Sesshomaru…"

He looked away from her glittering blue orbs and tensed slightly. The wound still hurt very much. "She…may not have been the most feeling mother but…She was this one's dame and she rescued Rin when I could not…as well as accepting Rin into the pack…"

Kagome felt that there was more to this, to his misery than that and she quietly asked, "What else is it Sesshomaru?"

He grimaced before slowly he began to speak. "I…do not understand why Father died for Inuyasha and his mother. What was it that compelled him to do so? Why could he not love this one's honorable mother the way he cared for that ningen woman?"

Sesshomaru suddenly paused and she knew not to push, the next thing he was going to say would be one of the bigger problems. "Is this one hurting Rin by keeping her with us through our travels?"

Kagome felt her heart break for the taiyoukai. He was unsure of these things and like she'd opened up to him, he was allowing her to see a part of himself no one else had glimpse. She opened her mouth to tell him what she could when the sound of a branch snapping snatched their attention from each other. Kagome's eyes fell on the little girl looking at them with tears in her eyes and she felt her heart drop to her stomach.

"Oh no…"

Rin took a step back and said softly, "Why is Sesshomaru-sama with Kagome-sama? Is he to replace Rin?"

The taiyoukai tensed and his tone was warning when he said, "_Rin. _You will-"

"_NO_! Rin will not listen!"

Kagome quickly got to her feet, feeling guilty as this was her fault. She made to approach the child but Rin took multiple steps back and she stopped. Holding her hands out in a way that showed she meant no harm she said coaxingly, "Lord Sesshomaru would never replace his Rin. Rin is his only ward. However, Sesshomaru-sama is helping me with something. He is being my strength right now."

Rin seemed to waver and she stepped closer to the child before kneeling in front of her. "Sesshomaru-sama is being very considerate of me as he lets me lean on him."

The little girl looked uncertain but at Sesshomaru's slight nod she relaxed slightly and allowed her fingers to trail Kagome's face, surprising her. "Is it why you look so sick lately?"

Kagome felt alarm run through her before she gentled and hugged the girl to her. She was sick, lovesick. Closing her eyes she whispered into Rin's hair, "Yes Rin-chan."

The little girl pulled away slightly and asked shyly, "Will I get to see Shippo-kun more then?"

Kagome smiled gently before glancing at the taiyoukai and saying, "Only if Sesshomaru-sama allows it."

The little girl looked at her Lord expectantly and he grunted before looking away, making both girls giggle at the reluctance of giving in.

_TBC…._


	4. I need you to right this wrong

**Title:** Don't Let It Be Just Once More

**Author:** Celestial Seraphim

**Warning:** violence, mature themes, angst, failed attempts at humor, OOCness, etc.

**Pairing:** SesshomaruxKagome

**Side Pairings:** SangoxMiroku, InuyashaxKikyo

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Inuyasha or any of the characters those go to their prospective owners but I'm currently in negotiations for a Sesshomaru plushie :3

**Summary:** Misery loves company as the old adage states and no two people were more miserable than them. So was it fate that brought Kagome and Sesshomaru together with shared pain or mere whim of the great youkai? When she gets a peak at the Taiyoukai's face Kagome can't help the feelings that slowly begin to consume her even though at first she doesn't realize they're there but will it end in a happy ending?

**Author's Note:**

**Don't let it be Just Once**

Chapter 3

_**April 10**__**th**__**, 12pm**_

Sesshomaru walked through his lands slowly, enjoying the quiet that he rarely ever had when his ward was around. However, his mind was cataloguing the times he'd met with the strange miko and how she seemed to be so different from other women. She seemed to be a natural born leader, especially in her pack. Indeed it was her pack because as much as his little half-brother posed and grumped it was _she_ who dictated when they stopped and when they continued on. She had an alpha's mentality yet her kind nature also made him see her as a beta. It was strange how his instincts always went in a tizzy whenever she was around him because he could not decide whether she needed protecting or to be challenged. He frowned lightly at his thoughts but before he could consider them a familiar reiki flared near him. He blinked slowly before allowing his youki to slowly approach hers and he was surprised by her unease and alarm. It instantly set him on edge and he went to her.

At first the fluctuating of her reiki was unconscious but she must have sensed him because suddenly it flared again and pushed at his own. He let out a low growl and pushed back with his own reiki. Not paying attention to the urgent message in her insistent reiki. She must have caught on to his disregard because suddenly her reiki sent a light zap through his youki and he suddenly felt like a pup whose mother just tapped his nose for being disobedient. Sesshomaru stopped in his tracks and growled when he realized _why_ she'd been so insistent he stop. There was no danger around her and he was about to enter her pack with no good reason.

His eyes narrowed as her reiki came towards him apologetically and wrapped around him but he sensed the amusement underneath it and yanked himself away. Holding his youki tight to him he glared in her direction and began to walk off. Silently promising to teach her a lesson in respect. He was not a pup to be scolded in that manner.

_**April 10**__**th**__**, 9:43pm**_

Kagome chuckled as she remembered what had happened earlier that day with Sesshomaru. She couldn't believe he'd been about to burst into their little tachi but she supposed it was her fault. He'd probably sensed her uneasiness and alarm at realizing that they hadn't run into any of Naraku's henchmen. It always left her feeling wary whenever they went any period of time without seeing him since that usually meant he was planning something especially bad. However, it'd amused her how he'd reacted sulkily to her little zap after she'd reprimanded him silently for his reckless behavior. It almost ended with her getting caught because her little kit had asked her why she was chuckling, instantly putting Inuyasha on edge.

Speaking of…

Her eyes fell on the hanyo and watched him, watch the soul stealers swirl close to their encampment. It left her feeling uneasy and somewhat angry. The visits were becoming more frequent and it infuriated the woman to no end. Suddenly the hanyo got up and he grumbled that he was going for a walk but they all knew where he was _really_ going. Kagome watched as he disappeared before oh so very slowly turning away. Unthinkingly she threw her senses out along her reiki to watch their camp but to her surprise there was a youki waiting for her notice. She blinked before glancing at her friends who watched her worriedly. She bit her lip before getting up and smiling a bit wanly at them,

"I'm going to go for a little walk too. I'll be right back."

Sango hesitated, wanting to offer her company but Kagome's silent shake of her head made her pause just long enough for the girl to slip away. Kagome followed the youki, curious to know why he was so close to her camp once more but before he reached the area his youki went out. She froze for a second, wondering what that was about before suddenly she was on her back with a snarling taiyoukai above her.

"You will not _purify_ or _zap_ this Sesshomaru."

She blinked slowly before she felt her lips twitch uncontrollably. "Are…are you _pouting_?"

He let out a low growl and she laughed, "Oh kami you _are_."

Sesshomaru gave her an annoyed look and slipped off her as she laughed on the floor. He huffed softly before he growled out, "Enough, miko."

She chuckled a little more before standing up slowly, brushing off the kimono she wore. She felt eyes on her and looked up to see the taiyoukai looking at the kimono curiously. Kagome blushed lightly before she said, "I fell in some mud so my clothes had to be cleaned. Sango had an extra kimono she could loan me."

He studied her for a few more moments before he said blandly, "This one supposes it suits you."

Kagome grinned knowing it was his way of saying it looked nice on her. "Thank you, Sesshomaru-sama!"

"Hn."

"What brings you around here, Sesshomaru-sama?"

He glanced at her and before glancing at the Mountain that could _just_ been seen in the distance. "You are heading towards the rumors."

Kagome blinked before looking in the same direction. "Yes, Inuyasha feels as though it's our safest bet at the moments."

Sesshomaru watched her before he asked, "You are uneasy…why?"

"Because Naraku is never quiet for this long and when he is, that usually means something very bad for us."

The youkai hummed his agreement before sitting at the bottom of a tree. Kagome hesitated for a moment but at his expectant look she grinned and sat beside him. They looked up at the sky together and Kagome glanced at the taiyoukai uncertainly before she spoke.

"You mentioned one time…me having the same strength as someone you knew…was it your mother?"

Gold eyes slid close for a moment as though he was in pain before they opened again, glowing lightly as they watched her critically. He was quiet for a long moment as they just stared at each other and Kagome found that she thought Sesshomaru was a work of art. A dangerous but beautiful moving work of art.

"Yes."

She blinked before realizing he was answering her question.

"When father was still mated to this one's honorable mother he had begun growing interested in the human woman. It pained mother…she loved him even if he had never loved her, at least not how she wished him to. Father cared for mother but he did not love her. When the day came that he broke their mating bond mother was devastated but she did not show it….She remained strong because she had a people to lead. She was Lady of the West and Mother to the heir of the West."

Kagome smiled wanly as she looked at the ground, "We will let ourselves go through hell and back so long as those we love are healthy and happy…even if we are not."

"Are you not?"

The miko looked up at Sesshomaru and thought about it before smiling. "I now understand why Rin-chan loves her Sesshomaru-sama so much."

She slowly got up and began to walk back to her camp but before she left his sight he asked, "Why is that, miko?"

The young woman looked over at the lord from over her shoulder and smiled. "Because when Sesshomaru-sama is around, there is always reason to be happy."

Without another word she left him alone, heading back to her makeshift family as her thoughts circled around glowing gold eyes.

_**April 16**__**th**__**, 2:15am**_

Something woke her from her deep slumber as the fire crackled and kept them all warm. They had been traveling nonstop for days after finding out Naraku was hiding out at Mt. Hakurei. They were all exhausted and needed their sleep even Inuyasha but something had awoken her. She lifted her head up from her sleeping bag and looked around. Sango, Shippo, Miroku, and Inuyasha were all deep asleep so what had awaken her? A flash of white in her peripheral vision caused Kagome to stand quietly and go towards where she saw it. Entering the forest thoughtlessly in her half-awake state she didn't bother throwing her senses out along her reiki as her heart hammered in her chest. When she entered a clearing she stopped seeing nothing until a sound behind her made her whirl around. However, at the sight of Sesshomaru she let out a relieved breath. His name a sigh against her lips as she touched her racing heart. He merely quirked an eyebrow at her but she saw the slight upturn of his lips. She had learned how gentle he could be after that meeting where he'd opened up to her. He was beginning to trust her and in doing so he let her see a side only Rin was privy to usually. Although he hid it very well Kagome had learned there was definitely a softer side to the great taiyoukai that she was sure he probably inherited from his father.

She'd become his confidant and he hers. He held out a piece of parchment as he said, "Rin wished to give this to you. She said it was a gift."

Kagome smiled as she took it. Rin had become very accepting of the idea of her little family getting just slightly bigger. Kagome opened the parchment to see a drawing of them al together. She looked up at the taiyoukai and arched an eyebrow in question. "Did you see this?"

"This Sesshomaru did."

"And so…"

"It was her idea. This one is simply giving it to you."

Kagome didn't know why but she suddenly felt a little disappointed that he had nothing to say about it. Nodding her head, she began twirling a lock of hair around her finger as she got lost in her thoughts. She'd begun to lose count of how many times they'd meet up like this. She'd lost all those guilty feelings of meeting Sesshomaru behind Inuyasha's back a few meetings ago though that was for sure. He'd become kinder to her and she'd warmed up to him.

"Where is your pack going?"

Kagome looked up at him before she said, "To Mount Hakurei. From the new rumors we think Naraku is hiding there."

Sesshomaru nodded in acknowledgement and they stood in silence before the inu youkai turned away but he looked over his shoulder and said, "You should watch yourself during the coming battle."

Kagome stood there just slightly stunned, knowing it was his way of saying 'be careful'. As he turned away Kagome took a few steps towards him and before either realized she wrapped her arms around him. They stood there like that for a while, her leanind against his back and he resting a hand on hers. Something was changing between them but she couldn't tell if it was good or bad. At least not as of yet.

_**April 20**__**th**__**, 10:55am**_

Sesshomaru wanted to kill something but good servants were so hard to find. He'd retreated to his home in the west yesterday when Rin had caught some strange illness. After making sure the healer would work on her he'd been trapped by his Advisor in his study for the whole day. The only reason he now roamed the halls was because he'd threatened to kill his advisor. The taiyoukai huffed, he hated paperwork as it gave him nothing but headaches. His thoughts wandered towards his ward and he stopped. There was no laughter in the halls and the whole mood of the fortress seemed somber. That was never the case when Rin was home and something curled in his abdomen. Taking large strides towards his wards rooms he quickened his pace to the family quarters before almost stumbling to a halt when the sickly sweet scent of illness and death overcame his nose. Red flashed through his eyes for a moment before he was in her doorway, looking down at a pale barely breathing child.

A whimper brought his eyes to the healer, a stork youkai, and he had him by the neck in a second. "Why is she not _better_?! _Why was this one not called?!_"

He snarled viciously as he glared into the terrified youkai's face. "My lord! I have tried but the sickness that ails her is beyond my power to heal. I tried to tell his greatness but your advisor kept sending me away."

His eyes flashed red again and a low animalistic growl rumbled from his chest making the youkai whimper as he tried to cower away. Sesshomaru's eyes darted around the room as he tried to think of a way to help his little ward. His eyes fell on a picture she must have drawn at some point and it was of her and the miko…The Miko! She would help Rin, she always had those strange medicines. He pinned the stork with a vicious glare as he growled out, "You will keep her alive or else it will be your blood. I will return."

With that he gathered his youki around him and in an orb of light he sped towards where he knew Kagome would be. Praying that his little ward would hold on just a little longer even though the smell of death had been overpowering in that room.

_TBC…_


	5. Tell me it's just a dream

**Title:** Don't Let It Be Just Once More

**Author:** Celestial Seraphim

**Warning:** violence, mature themes, angst, failed attempts at humor, OOCness, etc.

**Pairing:** SesshomaruxKagome

**Side Pairings:** SangoxMiroku, InuyashaxKikyo

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Inuyasha or any of the characters those go to their prospective owners but I'm currently in negotiations for a Sesshomaru plushie :3

**Summary:** Misery loves company as the old adage states and no two people were more miserable than them. So was it fate that brought Kagome and Sesshomaru together with shared pain or mere whim of the great youkai? When she gets a peak at the Taiyoukai's face Kagome can't help the feelings that slowly begin to consume her even though at first she doesn't realize they're there but will it end in a happy ending?

**Author's Note:**

**Don't let it be Just Once**

Chapter 4

_**April 21**__**st**__**, 8:45am**_

It wasn't until the next worming that Sesshomaru finally caught wind of the inu-tachi. Kagome's flickering aura reaching out to his youki unconsciously before faltering away. As he sped up somewhere in the back of his mind he registered how sluggish her reiki was. When he landed in front of them he took in their stance and felt a small bit of surprise. Inuyasha was tense but he did not attack his half-brother as he usually would. The human's and kit circled Kagome defensively and he finally took note of why. When his eyes landed on her he felt himself freeze minutely. She looked exhausted as she kneeled on the ground. Her reiki flaring weakly as though looking for an enemy but finding known. She was pale, her blue eyes lackluster and her lips were slowly turning blue. He recognized it immediately, they were the same symptoms that had made him bring Rin back to the west for a healer.

"What the hell do you want?"

Gold eyes flickered up to look at his brother before glancing at the obviously worried but tense humans. "I had come to seek aid…however, even your miko…"

His words were soft…"

Kagome instantly straightened, her eyes sharpening slightly, "What is it?"

Sesshomaru paused before he said, "Rin…Rin is dying…however, you-"

Kagome stood up but Sango let out a cry as she caught her adopted sister as the young woman swayed dangerously. Kagome shook her head before pushing away from Sango's hold. She took a step towards Sesshomaru before her legs gave away. Much to everyone's shock before Inuyasha could react the taiyoukai was cradling the young woman in his grasp. Kagome looked up at him determinedly, "Take me to her. I will help."

He paused but Inuyasha stepped in, "No way! Do you hear me?! We don't have time to help-"

Kagome shot him a withering glare and he stepped back. Shippo dragged her pack over before hopping into her arms as he looked up at the taiyoukai fearfully, "I'm coming too…for Rin-chan…"

The taiyoukai considered this before slowly nodding his head. It would be good for his ward he supposed and so he picked up Kagome's bag and before anyone else could voice their disagreement took off in an orb of light. Ignoring his brother's fading curses and vows as he sped back towards his home. He could feel Kagome shivering against him as they sped towards the castle and he wished he had mokomoko with him but he'd left it with Rin. So instead he merely hugged her closer to him. He glanced down when the little kit whimpered and looked to see the kit's emerald gaze on his adopted mother. Unthinkingly the lord sped faster, ignoring the exhaustion that was slowly seeping into his own being from pushing himself so hard for so long. He frowned lightly as he thought of his subjects, there would be no avoiding anyone seeing him arrive with a human, let alone a _miko_. Sesshomaru let out a soft growl, he was the Lord of the West and Kagome –as late as he was realizing it- was his pack mate. He would do as he pleased when it came to his pack mates.

They arrived that evening, Sesshomaru pushing himself past his limits so that he could get there as soon as he could. There was an uneasy feeling that had been building during his whole rush against time so when he landed, gently placing Kagome on the ground with her kit he strode quickly towards Rin's room making sure they were following. However, before they'd even hit the corridor to the family rooms he was assaulted with a smell he'd been praying to be in time for. Suddenly he was gone and Kagome was left blinking confusedly until they heard it. A heart breaking snarl that ended in a soul shattering howl of a parent who'd just lost the most precious thing on earth. Kagome felt her heart seize up and gathered her bag in her arms with Shippo before following the sound. It didn't take her long to find the room, blood splattered in different directions and she noticed two bodies lying on the floor with their throats ripped out. She would find out later who that was and talk some sense into him about it.

However, now as she looked at the taiyoukai her heart broke into a million pieces and all she could think was how _unfair_ life was. The taiyoukai let out a soft whimper as he cradled Rin's lifeless body in his arms, kneeling before her bed and his eyes bleeding red.

"Oh Sesshomaru-sama…"

Red eyes turned to her and he snarled softly before looking down at the little body in his arms and burying his nose in her hair, letting out a roar of rage. Shippo whimpered softly and Kagome put him down by her bag. "Mama?"

She smiled lightly before saying, "Everything will be alright. I have to fix this though, okay?"

The little kit's eyes grew wide but he hesitantly nodded as his gaze switched from Kagome to the grief maddened lord. She pet his head lovingly before slowly approaching the taiyoukai, red eyes snapped up towards her and she held her hand out in a reassuring manner.

"I want to help Sesshomaru-sama. Everything will be okay."

He growled lowly but didn't lash out when she kneeled in front of him. She watched him carefully before letting her eyes rest on Rin and her heart wavered slightly at the little girl's pained expression. Kagome bit her lip before reaching out to lay her hands on the little girl. However, before she even touched her a snarl curled her toes and pain flashed white hot up her arm for a moment. She looked up into angry red as Sesshomaru grabbed a hold of her wrist, his claws digging in deep.

She took a deep breath, determined to not cry out and egg on his beast more. Looking him straight in the eye she said softly, "It is okay. I'm going to bring her back…Trust me."

Sesshomaru let out a low growl but slowly released her and she allowed her hands to rest on the girl. Placing one over Rin's forehead and the other above her heart, Kagome closed her eyes as she slowly allowed her reiki to seep under the little girl's skin. She was stunned by the barely nonexistent reiki the little girl had, while like her Rin had never had any training with her reiki Kagome had always been able to feel the untapped talent under the girl's skin. However, it was as if she'd been forced to the use all her reiki at once or it'd been sucked clean out of her. It made her blood run cold before she set her reiki to mapping out the girl's insides. She familiarized herself with each vein, muscle and dying blood vessel in the girl's body before letting her reiki show her what didn't belong in the girl's body.

It was strange when her reiki brought her to a cluster of black spike looking germs around her lungs and most of her airways. They seemed to have a mind of their own because they minute her reiki neared them they pulsed and lashed out. She reared back, her body flinching on the outside at the germs almost sentient action. Grinding her teeth together she bore down on the clusters, fighting to heal them from the girl's body just as determinedly as the clusters fought her. She felt her reiki wavering as it fought, felt the sickness in her grow as it ate away at her. Outside of her mind where she fought to rid Rin's body of the disease her body trembled violently and a skin pales, tinging blue slightly. When the last cluster fell away from her lungs and faded from the little girl's body Kagome reached deeper inside of herself for the power she would need. She pushed her power into the little girl's heart, fighting to have it beat again even as her own sickness threatened to swallow her whole.

Suddenly, she was surrounded by darkness and as she looked around she was greeted by a woman who looked far more beautiful than any being she'd ever seen before. Her long flowing white hair fell to the floor, flowing down to the floor like a waterfall. Her glowing gold eyes flickered red once in a while like a dancing flame. She wore a long white and red Kimono that trailed behind her, delicately pointed ears rested on each side of her head as she gazed at Kagome.

"Hello child."

Kagome hesitated before she asked hesitantly, "Who are you?"

A soft chuckle was her answer, "You already know that…"

"….Amaterasu-Kami-sama."

The woman nodded and slowly approached the little miko, towering over her slightly. "You realize what you are doing is going to put you at risk?"

The miko steeled her nerves and straightened her shoulders, "Rin is a child. I don't care. He _needs_ her…" _…not me_.

Was her unspoken words and the Goddess gave her a sad smile. "Little one, there's more to this than you know…but if you truly wish to continue I will not stop you…"

Relief washed through Kagome and she relaxed just as Amaterasu leaned in a kissed her forehead. Pulling away she glanced at her forehead with a knowing smile before looking back down at Kagome with mild amusement, "Go back…Miko of the West."

The young woman frowned at the title but suddenly she was back attending to Rin's body. With one more push and a sudden drain of power a thunderous roar went through Rin's body and her reiki flared to life.

The red in Sesshomaru's eyes vanished as the little girl in his arms took a deep breath, her eyes fluttering open to lock on with gold. She smiled toothily at him, "Sesshomaru-sama, can we go play in the garden?"

The taiyoukai let out a small huff of breath and nuzzled the little girls face causing her to giggle.

"Mama!"

A small terrified yell broke them from their moment and two pairs of eyes snapped towards the miko. She swayed dangerously as she smiled warmly at them, Sesshomaru felt his blood freeze at the almost nonexistent heartbeat inside of her and the quickly disappearing reiki.

"Thank goodness…thank kami she's okay…"

With one shuddering breath she closed her eyes and fell forward.

_**April 22**__**nd**__** 1am**_

Sesshomaru sat at the foot of the young woman's bed, listening to the harsh wheeze of her breath as she struggled to get air. The children slept on mokomoko on the other side of the bed, having had refused to leave her side. The youkai scowled at the ground, guilt –a feeling he was unaccustomed to- ate away at him as the young woman slowly grew weaker and weaker. His youki gently antagonizing her reiki to flare up but it was too weak to stay flared. The inu looked up when he felt a familiar youki coming towards the room and before they could knock he flared his youki out. He felt them pause before coming in and he relaxed at seeing the female walk in. Emerald eyes fell upon him and the serpentine woman closed the door behind her. Her eyes fell upon Rin and she let out a sigh of relief,

"The miko revived her…Did you only just arrive Hana?"

The serpentine youkai focused her attention on the taiyoukai again. "Yes mi'lord. I came as fast as I could…thank the kami that the miko was here."

A low growl escaped him as he looked back at the miko, "At a price. This one requires you to look over her."

Hana glanced at him as she stepped over to the girl and he stood slowly. "It is fine. No one is near the room, I have told them to leave you be until you request otherwise."

She watched as he physically relaxed and smiled lightly before leaning over the girl. She ran her hand over Kagome's head and hissed softly as she snatched her hand away.

"I have not felt a sickness like this before. It eats away at her reiki, attacking it until there is nothing left."

"So using it to save Rin made her worse?"

The youkai hesitated before she nodded her head in confirmation. Sesshomaru reached out when Kagome's face scrunched up as though in pain and her reiki flared up as his youki surrounded her soothingly. Hana let out a small little gasp and he looked at her sharply.

"What?"

"I…I don't know…"

"_Explain._" He growled threateningly and she shook herself as she looked at the miko in wonder. "Her reiki flared as though taking in your youki. I have never seen a miko react that way with a youkai."

Sesshomaru frowned as he looked down at the miko thoughtfully before he spoke, "Leave. I wish to make an attempt on a theory."

"Mi'lord? Is that wise? She is a-"

"I said _leave_."

She hesitated for only a second longer before whirling away at the sound of his rising growl. She knew she was able to push his limits on certain things but this seemed to be a topic she was not allowed to argue with him in. When the door closed behind her he looked back at the miko and gently sat on the bed by her head. Letting out a small huff he slowly let his youki seep into her and gritted his teeth when her reiki buffeted it. Pushing more youki in, he immersed himself into his mind as he followed his youki's path into her core.

_TBC…_


	6. My life is in your hands

**Title:** Don't Let It Be Just Once More

**Author:** Celestial Seraphim

**Warning:** violence, mature themes, angst, failed attempts at humor, OOCness, etc.

**Pairing:** SesshomaruxKagome

**Side Pairings:** SangoxMiroku, InuyashaxKikyo

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Inuyasha or any of the characters those go to their prospective owners but I'm currently in negotiations for a Sesshomaru plushie :3

**Summary:** Misery loves company as the old adage states and no two people were more miserable than them. So was it fate that brought Kagome and Sesshomaru together with shared pain or mere whim of the great youkai? When she gets a peak at the Taiyoukai's face Kagome can't help the feelings that slowly begin to consume her even though at first she doesn't realize they're there but will it end in a happy ending?

**Author's Note:**

**Don't let it be Just Once**

Chapter 5

His sensei had long ago taught him that all creatures had a core whether they were Miko, youkai, spirit or kami. He had been taught that inside their core was a landscape that grew according to its owner's thoughts, feelings and health. It didn't matter how that creature looked, once they were down to the core all beings were the same. However, each cores landscape was different so Sesshomaru was only mildly surprised when he opened his eyes. He stood in a clearing much like the one near the bone eaters well and the trees that surrounded it on one side looked like they were beginning to be choked by the vines beginning to wrap around them. He knew well that it was the misery she'd been putting herself through for the sake of her duty as the Shikon Miko. The sun he knew had once shone brightly was gone and the ground was crumbling under his feet showing her weakening state as clouds gathered around the area, threatening with storms.

Sesshomaru felt her familiar reiki gently nudge him from behind and turned only to be shocked at the crystalline, untouched lake that stretched across one side of the clearing. In the middle floating over the water was a pink orb similar to the Shikon no tama. He walked towards it but stopped at the edge of the water before her reiki beckoned weakly. He at first expected his foot to meet cold wetness when he stepped on the water, instead it met with resistance and he walked above it. Shaking off the oddness of it he walked closer until he was right in front of the strange orb that hovered just above the middle of the lake. It had a week glow to it, the soft pink light throbbing in and out of existence but upon closer look of it he could vaguely make out a shape inside of it.

"Kagome?"

Her reiki flared for a moment all around him in the clearing before retreating within the orb and it was then he noticed the fragile cracks around it. Threatening to shatter it completely if nothing was done to save it, to save her. He vaguely wondered if this was the sickness' doing or Inuyasha's but he didn't dwell upon it long. For a moment he had no idea what to do but as though his wondering prompted it his youki began to react of its own accord. A flare of annoyance shot through him but he brushed it off when his youki faltered in its actions because of the emotion, instead he focused in on her and helping her. It wrapped around the orb and it slowly pulsed, taking in his youki. He was shocked once again as slowly his youki filtered through and her reiki grew as though they were working off of each other keeping a flow going.

The taiyokai's youki filled in the cracks as it pulled away and the orb slowly began to pulse brighter and brighter. When it grew blinding he felt himself being pushed out of her core insistently by a strange presence even as her reiki trailed after his retreating youki. Something called to him from within her but the burning purity pushed him out completely as it fought the sickness within her viciously now that it had the ability to do something against the sickness.

Sesshomaru opened his eyes just in time to see her eyes flutter open as well. She looked at him with glazed blue eyes and smiled warmly before once more falling into a deep sleep but this time it was peaceful. Feeling his own exhaustion from the lack of sleep and pushing himself above and beyond his limits the taiyokai allowed himself to relax where he sat by her head. With one final deep breath he contented himself with the knowledge that both his pack members were healing and safe, no longer in danger of being taken from him by death.

(OoO)

Everything ached within her, a small voice inside of her telling her she'd cut it close once again. She could hear birds chirping and the laughter of children which was such a strange sound to hear considering they were on their way to Mt. Hakurei. A small frown curled Kagome's lips as she realized she was on a very comfortable futon…when had they stopped at an inn? The Miko peeled her eyes open but shut it quickly at the onslaught of light that cause little tiny needles of pain to her eyes. After a moment she opened them again and bolted up in surprise at her surroundings. Lavish bedding, richly decorated walls, and it was now that she recognized Shippo's and Rin's laughter. "You're awake…"

Blue locked on gold as Kagome finally took notice of Sesshomaru who sat in the corner of the room near the open shoji screens where he could probably see the children playing. It took a second before she remembered why she was there and she went to stumble out of bed but suddenly he was there. More gently than he'd ever treated her before he placed her back into bed but gave her a stern look. "You are not to get up. You have yet to recover fully. If you wish to see Rin this one will bring her to you so that you may reassure yourself."

Kagome blinked slowly before letting a slight smile curl her lips as she spoke, "No…No, I trust Sesshomaru-sama. Thank you. I don't know why but I feel like I wouldn't be here if it weren't for you…"

A small downturn of his lips told her he was dissatisfied with something as he turned away, folding his arms into his sleeves as he looked outside. Kagome was just about to ask him what was wrong when he began to speak, "If this one had not asked for your assistance your life would not have been risked."

The little miko winced slightly as she called up her sluggish reiki and allowed it to curl around him in reassurance. "I gave my help freely. I knew the possibility of my dying was great when I restarted her heart."

She was a little thrown when a shock was sent through her the moment her reiki rested against him comfortably, not the usual shock of reiki against youki but something else entirely. By the way he looked at her strangely for a moment she thought he might have felt it as well. However, instead he simply nodded his head before stating plainly, "You will stay here for the next few days so that you may recover your strength. I will send the children in."

Before she could say anything he was gone, his youki brushing off her reiki but not before another shock of _something_ through her system. The voices of children intruded into her thoughts before she could even ponder the feeling but it was a welcome distraction. Shippo and Rin burst into the room, cheeks red and breathing heavy as though they'd run which they probably had.

"Mama!"

Suddenly she had an arm full of kitsune as the boy through himself at her, taking in deep breaths of her scent as he dug his face into her neck. Rin stood shyly by the shoji screen as she watched before Kagome noticed, the young woman opened her arms to the child with a warm smile. In seconds Rin too was cuddling herself close to the miko's body, probably to reassure herself the Kagome was in fact alright and Kagome felt her heart melt. She shushed them gently when the sniffling began and suddenly the miko had a sneaking suspicion as to _why_ the taiyoukai had disappeared when he did. Filing that suspicion to investigate later she stroked their heads, drying their tears away as she smiled lovingly at them.

"There now, I'm fine. Everything is okay."

Shippo sniffled lightly as he pulled away slightly and looked at his adopted mother fully. It was true, the healthy flush to her face was slowly returning to her face and she looked stronger. Rin also looked at her closely, noting the sparkle in her eyes and the warm smile that curled her lips. "Did Sesshomaru help with your sickness like you said he was?"

Kagome blinked and Shippo gave the little girl a strange look before it clicked for Kagome. A slight blush painted the young woman's cheeks before she nuzzled the little girl's cheek. "Well not quite yet but…maybe soon."

Shippo gave his mother a strange look as well as he asked, "What do you mean mama?"

She began to explain but there was a knock on the door and a flicker of youki caught her attention. Looking up from the children she allowed a glimmer of her reiki to touch the surface, a warning to whoever it was before she invited them in. The demoness that walked in ad an amused smile on her face as she looked at the miko. Kagome could immediately tell she was either a reptilian or dragon youkai but before she could say anything on it the woman spoke up.

"Honorable guest, my name is Hana and I am the resident Healer in Sesshomaru-sama's courts. I have come to offer my thanks and relief that you healed Rin-ojousama as well as you, yourself are looking better."

The miko was a little taken off guard by the rather friendly manner of the female demon. After a second she bowed slightly as well as she could from her position, "Not at all, I'm glad I was in time to save Rin-chan."

The corner of the demoness' eyes crinkled as she smiled and Kagome knew she would immediately like her as she returned the smile. Rin giggled as she hopped off the bed and rushed to the demons side, pulling her towards the bed happily. "Hana-san stay with us!"

Hana chuckled at the little girl's antics as she allowed herself to be pulled along, hesitating slightly as she got to the edge of the bed. However, Kagome smiled invitingly and patted the space by her as the kitsune snuggled closer to his adopted mother. The youkai sat carefully as she gave them a quizzical look before asking, "He is yours?"

Shippo and Kagome looked at each other before the miko smiled warmly down at him. "Not in the usual way but yes. Shippo is mine."

The little Kitsune grinned up at Kagome before blushing when Rin giggled at him. He stuck his tongue out at her before pouncing causing the girl to squeal and the two women chuckled before Kagome pulled him off the girl. "You have taken in a youkai child then...I have not met a Miko that would protect a youkai, even a child youkai."

The young woman frowned lightly before sighing lightly. "As much as I wish I could say there are many like me…there aren't. Where I come from I was raised to protect all life…to me a youkai child is no different than a ningen child. Just like a youkai adult is no different from a ningen adult. So long as their aim is not to harm, I believe every creature has a right to live."

Hana blinked, watching as Kagome looked over the talking children as she spoke. This was a woman who was like any other, she could now understand why her lord had marked the miko as one of his. She opened her mouth to thank the woman once more when peculiar blue eyes looked up towards the door. It was only a few seconds later she realized why when she felt the youki of her lord a second before he opened the door. Both children looked up and while Rin jumped up, running to her lord. Shippo stayed where he was by Kagome's side but he dipped his head respectfully to the youkai while his nose quivered inquisitively.

Gold eyes looked over everyone in the room as he patted Rin's head indulgently and Hana stood up, bowing to him. "You have introduced yourself…good. This one wishes you to watch over his honored guest during her stay here."

"I _can_ take care of myself." Kagome grumbled grumply, Hana tensed expecting a snarled reprimand from her lord but instead he merely raised an eyebrow at the miko. She shot him a glare before sniffing delicately as she crossed her arms petulantly and Hana felt her lips twitch up as she bowed to her lord obediently. "As you wish my lord."

He nodded his head before moving towards the engawa, allowing Rin to grab ahold of his hand. Kagome smiled slightly at the sight before he said, "I will take Rin to her lesson. Hana you may start the miko's lesson on youkai etiquette seeing as her status as beta is to be revealed soon."

Kagome looked at him quizzically before what he said set in as he disappeared around the corner. "WHAT?!"

_**TBC…**_


End file.
